Absence and leftovers
“I closed the apartment and left not knowing where and when I would get there next time.”
On 24th of February, when the first explosions were to be heard in Kyiv, Sana Shahmuradova left her apartment in the city. When she fled, she just left everything as it was and her flat seemed to wait for her return in a kind of sleep. While she was at her grandmother’s place in Savran, photographer Lesha visited her place which is both home and atelier to Sana. In his series, he captures an empty space where time seems to have stopped. A place that reflects the current state of the country.
“It gives me a feeling of closed sky now, of relative safety.”
Sana about the painting ‘Wet-nursing’
Pre tribulation, Oil on canvas, 2022
Before Sana finally came back to her apartment in Kyiv last week, we talked to her about her place and her art.
Can you describe the situation you were in when you left your home?
I woke up at 5 am in Kyiv because I heard an explosion. I stood up immediately, took a quick shower, prepared cash and documents, and went back to bed, hoping it was a noise coming from the dream I was seeing. Then, shortly afterwards, I heard another explosion and another. Maybe 4 in a row. I made a post on Instagram. Many of my friends responded immediately saying they heard it too: in Kyiv, Odesa and Kharkiv almost simultaneously. I left all my things, all the work I had made throughout the last 1.5-2 years in the apartment in Kyiv. I closed the apartment and left not knowing where, and when I would get there next time.
Where are you now?
I am in the countryside in the Podillia region, Ukraine; at my grandmother’s.
Do you miss your place?
I do, a lot.
What do you miss the most about it?
My place used to be my personal small world where I was trying my best to combine my artistic practice with running my own household. It is both a working and living place, my own personal island where I love inviting my closest and most beloved people. This apartment is a big part of my life in Kyiv, it is my small Kyiv in a way.
How are you holding up?
I walk to the riverbank a lot. I am trying to paint every day.
Are you still making art?
I am! Usually, I paint on canvas, but once the war arrived, I started using old wallpaper scraps, tree bark, fireproof old cloth and old rotten and not rotten boards. I find it all in my grandmother’s barn, which is basically my studio now. Now that I received the materials I used to work with before, I am back to canvas. I mostly use oil. While I did not have my usual materials here - I’d go for gouache - but I am back to oil now.
Is your art helping you to cope up with everything that is happening?
Yes, a bit.
Do you have any plans for the future?
I want to live and create in a free, blossoming Ukraine and always be around the beautiful people of this land.
